Building A Strong Family Bond

As my kids get older I keep finding these quotes by various people ringing in my ears. I am the biggest influencer in my child’s life…NOT the pastor, teacher, and even friends. ME. Yes, there are other influencers in our kids lives…but my point is that I am number 1.

It is a basic desire of the human heart to have a close knit family, right?! So how do we keep engaging our kids as they get older and their schedules start to fill up? How do we create an environment that helps build a strong family bond through these formative years? I always love a good family vacay, that seems to fill up both my kids and my emotional tank…but I want to connect with my kids in unique and fun ways more often than once a year. Maybe the solution is starting a new tradition, a tradition such as (deep breath)… family night? Hear me out, I have kids 10 years old and younger so I think I have at least 2 more years where we can implement family night and our kids won’t completely revolt.

FAMILY NIGHT

Family night starts by designating one night a week or even one night every month to spending intentional time together as a family. Or maybe it’s as simple as recognizing the time when you are all together already and maximizing that time! For example, the breakfast or dinner hour could be used more intentionally as family time. It doesn’t have to be gourmet breakfast…like throw doughnuts at your kids once a week, or order a pizza! The point is to be face to face, making eye contact, being present, and trying to engage your kids.

There are so many unique ways you can connect with your family and build your relationship this week! Tailor your time together to what your family loves: are you outdoorsy, homebodies, artsy? Or maybe you aren’t sure what your family loves, try it all!

Here are some ideas to get you started:

• Mystery Ride

  • Get the kids in the car on a whim and simply tell them you are taking them on a “mystery ride.” A mystery ride is basically a surprise destination…like to get ice cream or putt putt golf!

• Fire & S’mores

• Board Game Night- everyone gets to pick a board game!

• Serve Day- pick a local organization you could help out together as a family!

• Hike

• Bike Ride

• Beach Day

• Devotion Time- read a bible story and pray together

• Treat Your Kids To The Dollar Store! (Our kids think this is the best thing ever)

• Attend a local High School/College Football, Baseball, or Soccer game

The key to a “successful” family night: keep your expectations low. Inevitably there will be meltdowns, quarrels, and it won’t be this magical family time you have envisioned. Prepare yourself for those moments, and know that it’s ok…you haven’t failed! Doing things together as a family won’t always feel easy and fun, but rather it’s about creating the space to build your relationships with one another. Trust me, fun will be had, memories will be made, even if there are some unpleasant moments mixed in too.

What family activities have been a hit in your home, care to share? I always love fresh ideas!

Why I chose this dress for our anniversary photoshoot

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I'm a photographer, I love being the one controlling the camera, but not necessarily the one in front of the camera.  Yet, I force myself to get uncomfortable for the sake of preserving our families memories!  I have to keep reminding myself that I want to be more concerned about remembering this time in life than I do about the extra pounds i'm still carrying.  

Since preserving memories is important to me, I've learned what looks good on me in camera and I thought many women would be interested in hearing the same.  Here is what I look for when choosing MY outfit for family photos.  And that is the key Ladies...choose your outfit first, because you want to feel beautiful and confident in what you are wearing!

1. Color

I typically have a specific color in mind for the look that I want.  However, I know blues look good on me, so I tend to always incorporate it in our family photos.  I always choose my outfit first and then coordinate my families outfits around it.  

2. Cover up what you don't love

Right now, i'm not digging my arms/legs.  So, when I was searching for a dress for our anniversary photos I knew I wanted a long dress with sleeves.  If you don't want it to show on camera...cover it!  Also, I love long flowy dresses on camera.  They are so feminine and look beautiful, this is always my first choice for women!  Layering is another way to cover up what you don't love.  Adding a jean jacket or kimono can be super flattering and slimming.  Also, if you don't want it on in every photo, simply slip it off! 

3.  Accessorize

Scarfs, statement necklaces/earrings...all look so lovely on camera.  These pieces add interest and texture.  Small stud earrings and light chain necklaces won't always show up in camera.  So don't be afraid to add a little extra pop of color in your accessories! 

4.  Put on a little extra makeup

It's what movie stars do right?! Now I'm not talking about stage makeup, but maybe an extra layer of blush and mascara.  Like I said, a little bit extra goes a long way on camera!  

5.  Don't feel confident in front of the camera?  Fake it baby! 

If you feel awkward, chances are you will look awkward or timid on camera.  Try your best to relax, take deep breaths to allow your body to relax too!  Don't be afraid to let your personality show!  Do you love to laugh?  Then laugh with your kids!  Do you love to snuggle?  Then snuggle up next to that man of yours!  A great photographer will help guide you into these natural moments, but don't be afraid to let loose a little and even get a little silly! Because when joy and love are captured on camera, it is absolutely stunning!  After all, that's the goal of your session, to capture what makes your family special and unique!  

Still unsure what to wear?  Here are some examples of dresses I love for women to wear at my sessions.  Hint: Long and flowy! 

The dress that met all my criteria when I was looking for something to wear for our anniversary photoshoot!  It happens to be one of my favorite colors too! 

Shop This Look

I love dresses that have extra detail, like it's off shoulder, and ruffle/button detail on the bottom

Shop This Look

This staple Kimono is a great layering piece and can also break up a dress with a busy pattern

Shop This Look

The weekend was exhausting! When is nap time?

Doesn't this photo look glorious?!  Yet do you wanna know the truth behind the photo?  

There's a mama and a daddy chasing kids in every direction (that's why the chairs are empty!  Haha!) changing diapers, all the while trying to stroll one fussy babe to sleep and yelling at the others to not go so far into the water.  

Do you ever find yourself looking forward to the weekend or a vacation so much, and then when it gets here...it's not all that you built it up to be in your mind?  Where's the rest you thought you'd get...(somehow I forgot I had 6 kids).

Lately everything we have done together as a family has proved more exhausting in the end.  I feel my soul longing for rest, and that tug on my soul is Jesus calling me to come sit with Him.  But yet, I keep striving for rest in other places.  I think...if I could just take a quiet nap, or go to the beach, or actually have a restful vacation void of toddler tantrums then i'd feel so much better!  When will I learn..."come to me all who are weary and heavily burdened, and I will give you rest."  HE makes rest so simple, because HE is the source of rest.  Jesus is the one my soul is truly longing for.  

When I actually do sit in silence with Him and pray/read my Bible.  He shows me where my heart is off and offers me a fresh start and a renewed mind.  Yes vacation and weekends DO sometimes lead to rest for me (every good and perfect gift is from above...thank God for those sacred moments!).  But lately I've been finding that my weekends and vacations have often fallen short.  And when they fall short, I feel my mind slowly spinning out of control in anxiousness and in striving to try to find my next place of rest.  When actually all I need is to do is go "sit" with Him for a few minutes.  No, Jesus isn't a magical genie...but He is the source of life.  His words (often spoken to me through the Bible) breathe life into my soul.  His words are often so very different than what I naturally believe or desire, and it retrains and refocuses my mind.  Jesus says, "I have come so that you may have life, life more abundantly."  

Maybe this past weekend was less than for you, or maybe it was one of those sacred moments.  But let us not base our new week off of what the weekend was or was not.  Because what I need to remember on Monday, is that Jesus offers us life and rest in all 7 days of the week.  Not just on the weekends.  And He is perfectly able to refresh and renew me on a mundane Monday.