My heart is so stirred, our country is so lost, it’s too much to feel right now…I want to check out. But my eyes can’t look away…

 I remember the first time I finally saw the racial injustice with my own eyes, it was Charlottesville 2017.  It was like all of the sudden I could see it, my eyes were opened and I would never be the same again.  

By now you’ve heard Ahmaud Arbery, Breonna Taylor, and George Floyd’s name and you wonder where do I go from here?  Friends, let me just encourage you and say that is a great question to be asking even if you don’t know what to do next!   2 Corinthians 3:18 says “So all of us who have had that veil removed can see and reflect the glory of the Lord.  And the Lord who is the spirit makes us more and more like him as we are changed into his glorious image.”  Praise God He is in the business of day by day making us new and changing our hearts. He opens our eyes and allows us to see what He sees.  You know that song you’ve sang in church before, “break our hearts for what breaks yours.”  Well…He will do it, he is doing it!  So just the fact that you are seeing with new eyes today is something to thank God for! May that continually be the cry of our hearts…Lord give me eyes to see what you want me to see. Help me to no longer look away.

So what now?  

I want you to think back to when the stories were breaking.  How did you come across Ahmaud, Breonna, and George’s name?  Was it via a friend on social media, a news report, word of mouth?  

If you don’t yet know these names, you are living in a bubble.  It’s time to get out of your bubble.  (Stick with me bubble friends, I was once living there too, and I’m so glad you even decided to start reading this)

I first heard Ahmaud’s name from friends on social media who were active in grief.  My black friends were grieving that this is the world their sons were growing up in.  How do they keep them safe, if they can’t even go for a run?  How has nothing been done for the past three months?  They felt helpless, their very existence mocked and challenged.  My heart broke with them. And I know what I was feeling was just a fraction of what they were feeling.  My African American nephew and all of my black friends children were racing through my mind.  These precious boys will be black men one day.  How do we keep them safe as they grow older?  

LISTEN & LOOK INWARD

If you are brand new to engaging in racial conversations, and even if you are not…it is so important to listen to the minority voices right now.  What are they saying?  As you listen, let your friends know you are listening and that you hear them.  Maybe it’s a simple Facebook like on their comment. Or a simple reply that says…”I hear you, I’m with you.” We need to be linking arms with the black community right now, and one way we do that is by listening.

Beyond listening, we can elevate minority voices right now. There is real pain, real trauma happening…there is much being said by our brother’s and sister’s of color and we need to bring their voices to the center of this conversation, and not speak over them.

Maybe you do not have any minority voices on your social media.  That is your first step.  Seek them out, Latasha Morrison is a great person to follow.  She runs a nonprofit racial reconciliation organization called Be the Bridge and is full of wisdom and challenging words.  This is where I started, and I have learned SO much! But please if you follow her, go to listen and not argue.

As you listen to minority voices, if something is said that isn’t sitting well with you…ask yourself, why?  Don’t get angry at what they said because it made you uncomfortable. Rather use that uncomfortable feeling as a nudge to ask yourself, “why is this making me feel ______?” Then sleep on it, and keep listening.  Don’t shut down a person just because something they said offended you or made you feel uncomfortable.  Listen to learn and to understand more.  The fact is if it a topic is uncomfortable then it is probably something that you need to dig a little deeper with.  

This is the work of racial reconciliation!  It is HARD work to look inward.  I never would label myself as a racist (as I’m sure you probably wouldn’t either).  But do I struggle with biases and prejudices that I have learned over the years?  Yes.  If we are all honest with ourselves, we all hold some biases and prejudices that we don’t even realize are there until we look inward.  When I first started this process of looking inward, I discovered some ugly.  And I’m going to be vulnerable and give you an example of the ugly I discovered in my heart in an effort to get you thinking too.

Sometimes I would find myself clutching my purse more tightly when walking down the street past a black man. 

Why did I do this?  Was it all black men, or just select black men?  What prejudices was I unconsciously harboring in my heart that was affecting me to act this way?  

And so I had to confess this sin.  I confessed it to God and to the racial reconciliation group I was a part of.   And while I still may feel this tendency come on, I’m aware of it, and I confess it again. All the while believing that he who began a good work in me, will carry it to completion.  Sin loves hiding in the dark, it wants you to believe your fine so that it can keep on living.  But once sin is exposed, its power is relinquished, and can no longer fester in your heart if you don’t allow it to. Commit to looking inward. Stop pointing the finger at others, and start doing the work in your own heart. We all have heart work to do. This is why racism is so destructive, it goes unchecked and then eventually spills out. “The mouth speaks what the heart is full of” Matthew 12:34. That is why when you commit to racial reconciliation work…it’s committing to it forever. We have to constantly be on guard, and active in searching our hearts.

LAMENT

Lament is defined as: A passionate expression of grief or sorrow

This word was new to me a few years ago.  Maybe you are feeling it right now.  You feel grief and deep sorrow over Ahmaud, Breonna, and George’s life, and you wonder why you feel it so deeply?  Lamenting is something we all need to learn to do.  In fact, it is important to allow yourself to lament such horrifying acts.  

As a christian I can look in the Bible and see people lamenting.  In the Bible lamenting was a way of grieving pain, AND asking God to intervene.  Over 1/3 of the psalms are laments.  There is an entire book of the Bible called Lamentations.  The point is God wants us to bring our pain to HIM.  Our grief and pain has a place.  When we don’t bring our grief and pain to God, it can often turn to anger which if left unchecked eventually leads to hate.  

This is actually what we have been teaching our boys lately.  And a great way to start the conversation of racism with your kids.  Anger leads to Hate, Hate leads to death. 

We see this over and over in the Bible.  When Cain was angry that God accepted his brothers offering above his own, his anger led to hating his brother, which led him to murdering him.  Hate led to death.  You can read it here.  

We see it again in the Bible, when Joseph received a gift from his dad that his brothers did not get.  They were angry, they hated Joseph because their father favored him.  Because the brothers let hate fester in their heart for Joseph, they sold Joseph as a slave and told their father a lie that their brother was dead.  This story is so fascinating, because in the end Joseph meets his brothers face to face again and had the opportunity to kill his brothers right then.  But he didn’t.  He confronted his anger and had mercy on his brothers.  Joseph looked inward, checked his anger and chose mercy.  This led to reconciliation between Joseph and his brothers. He was then reunited with his father, all because Joseph checked his anger. You can read that here.   

So lamenting is actually an important step in grief.  It is giving your anger a place. It is giving yourself the opportunity and space to grieve that pain. And, it is asking God to intervene.  This can be done individually and collectively. 

ACT

Jesus came to reconcile us back to him.  Just as Jesus’ entire ministry was reconciliation, so is our purpose.  We are to be reconcilers.  To reconcile means to restore a relationship.  So once you have moved through the first two steps: Listen & Look Inward, Lament…then we must Act.  What does this look like?  Well, it can be different for everyone…depending on where you are in learning about racial reconciliation.  

1. At the very least, diversify the voices you are listening to.  Read books from minority authors, diversify your social media, seek out more diversity in your life.  Attend diverse programs/festivals in your area.  Empathy requires proximity.  Get closer.  

2. Educate yourself on racial history.  The key point here being educate yourself. Don’t rely on your black friends to educate you on racial history. Google. Get out of your comfort zone!  Learn about the racial history in your city.  Go to the civil rights museum in your town, or any museum representing minority history. Go to learn.   

3. Look inward.  What about racial conversations/history does not sit well with you?  Be the Bridge has amazing resources and guided questions to help you look inward.      

4. Speak out against injustice.  In the Ahmaud Arbery case, it took 3 months for 2 of the 3 men to be arrested and charged. And longer for the third.  That was all because an army of citizens spoke up!   They signed petitions, made phone calls, and said something!  There is still opportunity to speak up for Ahmaud, Breonna, and George.  Click here for more on that.   The point is, engage.  Keep listening, lamenting, and move how you are led.  Also, it’s also noteworthy to be aware of laws that perpetuate this type of crime.  The citizen’s arrest law is one of those laws that needs to be reviewed and/or abolished.  So pay attention to injustice in our legal system as well. With the election coming up, this is also a great opportunity to make changes in leadership. We need leaders who have these issues on their platforms. Educate yourself on who is running, and vote.  

5. If this feels very out of character and uncomfortable for you, know that it is for me too!  I actually hate politics or anything associated with politics.  But this is more about people’s lives than politics. Do I feel completely inadequate?  YES!   But my friend Latasha Morrison said, God loves to use a remnant and anyone who is willing.  So I say, “Here I am God, use me.”    

Just start somewhere, and commit to never looking away again. Remember, racial reconciliation work in our own lives is a journey NOT a destination.